Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Shower, Registry, Squish and me too!

Kelley and I have been getting quite a few questions about all things Squish lately. I figured that this would be the best way to get them answered all at once.

Kaitlyn's Baby Shower Info:
Date: May 1st, 2010 (Saturday)
Time: 2:00PM - 6:00PM
Where: Countryside Community Club
9151 N Bald Eagle
Tucson, Arizona 85742

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RSVP as soon as possible! You can RSVP by emailing or sending me a message via facebook. From what I'm hearing most people have gotten their invites over the past week or so. You can also call Candace (the amazing woman throwing us the shower) at 520-471-8531 to RSVP. The shower is coed, and if you have kids they are welcome, we just really need to know how many to expect so we can plan food and such.

Are we registered anywhere?

Yes. Kelley and I have registered.
We are registered at Wal-Mart, Target, and Amazon.com. You can view and select items for all three via the internet, you can also shop in store at Wal-Mart and Target. The information for all three is pretty easy to find our registry. Use Tammy Doern or Kelley Doern as the registrant name. State, of course, is Arizona. If you need to know Kaitlyn's due date is June 19th, 2010.

Does the nursery have a theme? Do you have likes or dislikes?

After looking around for awhile Kelley and I decided to have a jungle themed nursery. We fell in love with the Fisher-Price "Rain Forest" collection, and it's partner the "Precious Planet" collection (also by Fisher-Price). It has the bright, bold colors we were looking for, it has gotten great safety reviews, and awesome reviews from parents. We've registered for a lot of those items.

We have also registered for the Dr. Brown's line of bottle products - reflux and GERD runs in my family and those are the bottles that helped both of my nephews out.

Sensitive skin runs in the family also, and mom says that Pampers were the only diapers that didn't make us break out, so we also registered for the Pampers "Swaddlers" diapers. (The dry-max diapers are thinner and more earth friendly for those interested.)

I have yet to register for many clothes, and will be adding some. At the same time I figured if people saw something they liked they didn't need me to tell them it was cute. Just please keep in mind that babies grow up in size very quickly - there are so many hours in a day to have her newborn clothes.

How is Squish doing?

Squish is a firecracker. She is definitely keeping me on my toes. I never knew that babies would have personalities before they were born, but Kaitlyn definitely does. She is a very finicky baby.

The funny thing is that her nickname is "Squish" and it is one thing she absolutely hates - she cannot stand being 'squished' in any form. If my pant waist is pushing in on her she freaks out, if my seat belt gets tight she fights it. Just my leaning up against the counters to clean the back, and that bit of counter pushing on her gets her throwing punches. We have a fetal heart monitor (to listen to her heartbeat) and you tighten it up against your belly, that was the first time I SAW her kicks outside, she was beating that thing to pieces from the inside.

How is mommy doing?

I'm doing good so far. I've considered myself really lucky in the cervix department until here lately. I managed, despite the incompetent cervix, to get so far without being on strict bed rest the whole time. I've gotten by, until this point, by just taking it as easy as I can manage.

My last cervical length sucked, it's down to 1.6cm - not good. I was told in the beginning that 2.5cm was a "dangerous" cervical length... so I'm a little bit lower than dangerous. I was hoping I had heard them wrong, but after my doctor appointment today it was confirmed, my cervical length sucks. The good news is that there is no funneling, and the cerclage is still holding strong, doing it's job. The bad news is that I'm now allowed no more than an hour a day on my feet, and I was told in no more than 15 minute sections - and to try to avoid the on my feet time as much as possible. So, the couch, bed and my rear who were on friendly terms before, are going to be getting even better acquainted. (yay!?)

I am 30 weeks now - 2 weeks beyond "gravy" but not close to the safe zone. If Kaitlyn insisted on coming into the world now she would have a very good chance of making it - she would also end up with minimal disabilities. At the same time I plan on keeping her baking until 35 weeks, even if that means duct taping my cervix closed. (I really do think it's something they should consider, duct tape fixes everything right?) If I can hold her captive until 35 weeks they will allow her to be delivered here in Casa Grande, if she comes before then she will have to spend a lot of time at Tucson Medical Center in the NICU, and I would rather her not have to spend her first while hooked up to machines.

Thank you everyone, for your continued thoughts and prayers. I also ask that you please keep us in them. Every day that she stays put is another blessing, it means she gets to grow a little more, we get to pretend that we are making progress in the baby gear department and getting the nursery set up, and she gets to develop more. Also, keep Kelley and his sanity in your thoughts - poor guy has to put up with me, pregnant, hormonal, and now on most strict bed rest.

If you know anyone who would want to know this information, feel free to pass this on!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Kisses, love and fate.

The first thing I want to say is that yes, I have been slacking in the blogging department. I'm fully well aware of that fact. Truth be told I have a few 1/4 done blogs - and then I got distracted with something (pretty easy to do) and stopped. I WILL be finishing those soon, I think.

The reason I'm writing today is that this is a special day for me. Today is April 9th, 2010. I thought the important day was yesterday, but after looking through some old emails/writing I realized today was the day.

10 years ago today was the day my life changed forever.

I had been injured at work, and couldn't use my right arm. I was doing the whole photographer thing then, and I'm right handed so I wasn't worth a whole lot. The doctor I saw put me on the bench for two weeks, longer if my arm didn't get better quickly enough.

I had some free time. At this time Kelley and I were still just friends. We spoke occasionally on the phone, and did a lot of emailing and IMing. (Instant Messaging)

Right after I'd hurt my arm I got a call from Kelley. We were chatting like we normally did, nothing unusual. I mentioned my arm and how I was out of work for a little while.

Kelley was still in the Army at this time, and they had been preparing to head to a training school for a month long. Word came down the chain of command that for whatever reason the birds (helicopters) with his unit were grounded (couldn't fly). His entire unit was told that since they had planned the schooling, and schooling got canceled their calendar was empty for the next month. If they wanted to take leave, now would be the time to do it.

A long standing joke between Kelley and I was that every phone call I would ask him when he was coming to see me. I never actually expected him to come and visit. Kelley put in for his leave. The one condition was that if got his way out here, I had to get him home.

It amazes me even more now, considering we were just good friends at the time, that Kelley rode on a greyhound bus 24 hours for this visit. He sat, on his bum, for 24 hours for me. To spend time with a friend.

Kelley arrived near midnight on April 6th, which is my birthday. It was a great present. I remember him joking at one point about how I "never expected to get a Kelley for my birthday".

So what is so important about April 10th?

Kelley and I were hanging out upstairs in my room. I'd taken some medication for my arm that knocked me out pretty darn good. Kelley was sitting on the bed, I was laying down, and we were watching a lightning storm out the windows. I had drifted off to sleep.

I thought it was a dream, and felt something on my lips. Then in a soft voice I heard, "well it worked for Prince Charming." I opened my eyes groggily and a few seconds later Kelley kissed me again.

It was that moment that I *knew* without a shadow of a doubt that I was in love. I knew that Kelley was the one. My entire life WAS that kiss. Kelley was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, there was no other option.

Here we are, 10 years to the day later - and he is still the love of my life. People say the newness, the passion, the power, that flood of emotions you get in the beginning of a relationship wears off. Not for me. I still get butterflies when Kelley kisses me. All that power is still there, but on top of it all is the warmth of being best friends. I still get all the rushing emotions, the want and power of passion; but I also get the tenderness of affection, love, and trust.

It's been 10 years, and so many ask "what would you do differently?" I can't say that I would. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing. Changing so much as one breeze could change it all, and I'm amazed and feel blessed every single morning to be with him.

There are people out there who question things - they simply say "coincidence". Let those who choose to believe that way do so. I know that it was God's very hand that brought us together. Circumstances don't just turn out that way.

Any other time in our lives would not have been "right". I know had he visited earlier I wouldn't have been ready, or mature enough, to follow my heart that way. Any later and who's to say he would have kissed me at all? If his birds hadn't been downed, my arm not injured? God fated us to be together, and together we are.

It amazes me each day to know I can kiss him just because. I'm blessed every single time I can reach out and hold his hand, and I still feel that tingle.

There are people out there who spend their entire life searching for exactly what we have.

There's a song called "Living in a Moment" - a line from that song is:

"When they carve my stone all they need write on it,
is once lived a man who got all he ever wanted.
Tell me something, who could ask for more
Than to be living in a moment you would die for?"

How many people would die for the type I love we have. How many people would give their all to feel, just once, what I feel each time I think of Kelley?

I could live forever on the emotions and power I felt in that first kiss. God has blessed, me more than there are words to say, in that I don't have to.