Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder why it is that I can't seem to lead the plain ol' ordinary boring life that imagined I would have as a kid. Then I look at who I chose to marry and realize that while I might have THOUGHT I wanted boring - I never would have chosen it.

Once again, time has flown by since my last shown post. I have another post that I've wrote, I'm still in the debate of whether or not I actually want to post it though.

Anyways what has gone on - not a whole lot.

I was in a very very minor fender bender (really minor) on Thursday. Kelley says it's more like a small paint scratch - it wasn't even my paint. Anyone who knows what I've had to deal with because of my back knows how pissy it can be, and in turn, how pissy it can make me. Right now my back and I are not on good terms. I've had problems with my back for 9 years now, most of it I'm used to. Poor Kelley has to listen to me whine over it all the time - I simply cannot imagine how tired of "my back hurts" he must be. Anyways - I took the same drive I've made a million times over the railroad tracks to Walmart - it just wasn't like it always was. There is a small speed bump like bump, that's not a speed bump, just before the railroad tracks. I go pretty slow over the bump as it tends to jar my back. This time I go over the bump and my back takes it personally - like this is a new bump installed just to irk it off. Well, irk it is what it did. A couple of sharp back pains and pains down my legs, no biggie I've dealt with this a million times. I can't even remember if these felt any different. Anyways I get to the tracks, there is a line waiting to get onto the road from the stop - I never pull forward on tracks (yes even if I know there is no train coming) until my entire car will fit on the other side without being on the tracks. (I put my seat belt on to back up my car out of the driveway, I'm that bad.) I wait for room for the car, slowly pull forward with my foot on the brake to keep the car slow. I'm approaching the car in front of me and go to push all the way down on the brake to stop and NOTHING. I don't mean the brake didn't move, I mean my foot and knee didn't move. There are positions that I become incapable of moving my left leg, it's hard to explain to people who have never felt this, but I literally cannot make my leg move. This is what happened here except for the first time it was my right leg. So I "bump" the car in front of me. It wasn't until I grabbed my leg with my hands and shook it and tried again that my legged move because I was telling it too. The only damage that was done to either vehicle was a slight imprint where my license plate holder left a black mark on the other car - so barely anything.

The lady I bumped was incredibly nice, I was simply amazed. I can't tell you how scary it was for me to know that I hit another vehicle - I've never so much as gotten a speeding ticket, never been in any form of accident. For me, I would have preferred to have been daydreaming, texting, talking on a cell phone, just not paying attention rather than having my leg not work. All I can say is I'm still freaked out about it. I'm scared sick at the thought of driving because I know it could have been much worse than what it was. I could have seriously hurt someone, or the baby, and that freaks me out to say the least.

My back is still pissed off from it. I don't know if I did something on the bump before the tracks, or if the jar from hitting the other car hurt me, but my back and I are no longer friends. I'm having lots more fun with the sharp nerve pain, my right leg is now occasionally being weird (that's the best I can describe it), and I'm waking up every morning feeling like I was the take-off zone for an airport runway. The awesome thing is that Dr. Halter has managed to squeeze me in on Friday to see me. I'm very thankful for that - I'm hoping he might have some answers, but I'm scared there just aren't any other than "your back is messed up, we both know this". We shall see...