5/14 Could be 6 weeks, could be 2 days...

As of right now things with Squish are up in the air.

I posted two weeks ago about our last cervical length check, and the growth scan done on April 30th. A quick concise is that Squish was measuring smaller than they'd like, and not having shown any growth over a two week period. They also scheduled twice weekly NST's - and I posted about that as well.

Today was our follow up growth scan. I can tell you that I was nervous. I've had a feeling over the past few days that Squish is going to be on her way in the next two weeks. I even have my hospital bag mostly packed and ready to go - just in case.

Things today were not any better. Squish hasn't shown any real growth still. She is now measuring at only the 8th percentile. They gave me an estimate of about 4 pounds 8 ounces. There are a few things that are sort of in our favor. One is that the due date they perinatologist is using is 9 days earlier than the one that my regular OB is using. (I ovulated 9 days later than normal women do, the peri was using the day of my last period to base my due date on.) The other is that Squish is still in the breech position - the peri today explained to me that the averages they are using are based on babies measurements head down. When babies are breech their head measurements tend to run slightly smaller due to the angle of the ultrasound machine. The peri did also say that her stomach and femur measurements were small as well, but the head measurement would give us a little bit more weight. Both of those could be to our favor making her small, but not as small as she appears. It doesn't mean she's in good shape, just not necessarily as bad as it appears. (We'll take every little bit we can get, right?)

The good news is that Squish passed her bio-physical profile done during the ultrasound with flying colors. I think the ultrasound tech would have preferred her to not pass so well. Squish was wiggling and shaking up a storm during the sonogram - so (as usual) the measurements were taking longer than they should have. At one point it was chase that femur bone (thigh) bone as she kicked and wiggled. The bio-physical profile measures her heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and amniotic fluid - it's used to evaluate the overall health of the baby in the womb. We scored and 8 out of 8. That is great news. They also watch to check on Squish while she is in there and she was taking tons of practice breaths, which is great news! Just shows that all her hiccups are from her breathing and breathing over and over in there!

So what else did they say? Squishes is small. They are keeping a very close eye on her now. If Squish hadn't passed her bio with flying colors, she would have been pulled out. If at any point she does poorly on her NST she's getting pulled out of there. If she slows her movement down, she's getting pulled out. Right now it's all up to Squish, and how well she does. Their main concern is to make sure that she is in the best place for growth and maturing. If Kaitlyn doesn't improve her growth between now and the next growth scan - they will be taking her out. Some babies do better outside of the womb for whatever reason than they do inside.

Do they know why she's not growing? No. It could be a million things. They said awhile ago that it could be something to do with my gastric bypass surgery. It could be something with her umbilical cord - as far as they could see it's moving nutrients fine, but they can't tell everything. It could be a placenta problem... or any number of things. They don't know what it is. I was told to up my water in take, to eat as much as I can, and get in as many calories as possible, I've been making sure to sleep on my side (it helps blood and nutrient flow to the baby). There isn't much else we can do.

So - the next thing - I had a NST scheduled today also. Squish did NOT pass this NST with flying colors... she got a "so-so" score. I can honestly say that I don't think this one was as accurate as it could have been. Kaitlyn was wiggling and shaking the entire time, never really calming down for even a little bit. The test works by getting a baseline heart rate, and then when she moves, monitoring her rate increase against that. They like to see it increase 10-15 or more when she moves and wiggles. With her heart rate being up already, getting it up 15 more wasn't quite happening. She could get it up 10, but wasn't keeping it up 15 for very long. She didn't fail the test, or do too poorly, and she was moving a ton (a great sign) so he said we are just going to watch her.

So, it all comes down to whether or not we can get Squish to behave, and grow. I'd love for her to grow some more, and to bake a little bit longer, at the same time if this is God saying "it's time for her to enter the world" so be it. I trust that God will and has given the doctors the tools and the knowledge to make the best choices they can for her. It all comes down to God and Kaitlyn. I'm keeping a good "feel" for her movement, but she makes it pretty obvious she's wiggling and grooving in there. We are doing what we can for her, and getting as prepared as we can.

I know so many of you already are, but please, continue to keep us in your prayers. I'd really like to keep her baking longer, just because her brain isn't fully developed yet, right now it's only about 70% formed compared to what it would be at 37-40 weeks. She's also less than 5 pounds, and they don't normally allow babies under 5lbs 8oz to go home. I'd rather her not spend a lot of time in the NICU.

Thank you to everyone, for your thoughts, prayers, good wishes, and the things we've gotten for Squish.