Monday, October 19, 2009

This year

So many of you know that it has been a very long year for my family. It started off rough - and has it's definite ups and downs.

On January 15th my Papa passed away. My brother's father-in-law (not exactly what I call him technically) was diagnosed with cancer.

In February my baby brother (and yes Joey you will always be my baby brother) lost his job.

March 6th we got amazing news - it was the day that Kelley and I found out Christopher was on the way. Which sort of reverts back to good news on Valentines as the day they say we conceived. March was also the month that my big brother, Bobby, lost his job.

April - okay I can't remember officially what happened in April but I keep thinking this was the month that Keri - my mother-in-law - told me her husband (who I guess would be my father-in-law) had cancer. Not sure but I think that's about when we were told.

In May my mom and dad were in a serious car accident. Both of them had serious problems and my mom is still having problems from it. At the end of May was when I had all the stomach pain, leading to a serious surgery. I was told that I had a serious bowel hernia and obstruction. I had to suffer from very serious pain for a few days because we all wanted to avoid anything serious happening to the baby.

The end of June was our house fire - the worst part of which was that the bacon didn't make it.

July was when we lost our Christopher. The same night was when Kelley's car was broken into and the passengers window destroyed. (I can say that Kelley tried to clean it up well, but when I cleaned his car yesterday there was still glass.)

In August my niece was pulled over for speeding and they found drug paraphernalia in her car. I totally believe this was my niece's fault, but it still sucked. They also found out she'd been doing a lot of serious bad things.

September was when my mom found out she has some sort of serious internal problem. They did some testing and she was told that she had an enlarged appendix. Which we are pretty sure is wrong because she had her appendix taken out several years ago. After reviewing the pictures and such they think they found a piece of unattached intestines in the shape of a candy cane. So they are pretty sure she needs surgery, and is in a lot of pain. They won't give her pain meds either.

October is looking up. You'll have to read my next post to find out why.

One of the things I've learned this year is that everything that we get comes from God. He's also the one that takes things away. It's so easy to praise God when everything is going great, and life is good. It's much harder to give thanks when life is going down, and you can't even see the bottom of the road you're on. It's a definite lesson in humility.

Papa was a sad thing, but I understood it. My prayer at the time was for God's will to be done. I didn't want Papa to spend the next year of his life as he had the previous. I understood when God took Papa to be with him, and I was glad he wasn't suffering anymore.

When we were blessed with a pregnancy it was so easy to thank God for that. It was so easy to be thankful.

I was mad and angry at God for so many reasons. I never blamed God for taking Christopher - but I was angry at him for not saving him. It took me a long time to be able to realize God has a reason for all things. It took me a long time to be able to thank God for giving as well as taking. I did eventually start seeing that even after all the things that happened this year I had a lot to be thankful for.

God did take my Papa, but he's no longer suffering. The car accident my parents were in wasn't good, but they didn't die because of it. We didn't get to keep Christopher, but he was here. My God has promised that I will get to see our Christopher again. Christopher's life may not have been here long, but through the experience with him I've been able to touch other lives because of him. Peoples lives have been touched because of Christopher's life.

I've learned to thank God when times are good, and when they aren't. I'm married to an incredible man. I have two awesome dogs, and one demon cat who cracks me up. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a car to drive, a bed to sleep in. I have an incredible husband and despite everything he still puts up with me, still loves me.

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