Not just us.

So one of the things I'm learning lately is that while this year has been hard for Kelley and I it's been just as hard for so many other people this year. We've dealt with losing our child, losing my grandpa, lost jobs, car accidents, house fires, car robberies, one thing after another.

In our own pain it's so easy to just sit and stare at the broken pieces scattered all around us, trying to figure out what glue will even begin to put the mess back together. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with putting our lives back together that we never stop to look around. It's so easy to see our lives in wreckage, and wonder why.

It's so easy to never look up, never look around, never look very closely at the lives of those around us. Sometimes, if we do manage to look up, we notice that there are others who lives are broken. Sometimes if you look close enough, if you take the time to care when YOUR world has crumbled, you'll notice theirs shattered. Your pieces are HUGE compared to what's left of theirs. How could you be blinded by the mess of your life, and never have seen the moment when theirs came falling down too?

I've learned in my life that there are times when prayer fixes everything. There are simple times when you beg for God to fix things, and He simply does. There are times when all God want's is us to come to Him in prayer, times when He wants to know that WE KNOW He can fix it.

Then there are times when God doesn't want us to wait for the fix. There are times when God won't "make everything better". There are times when what God want's from us is to hit our knees. That's just what we need. There are times when we forget that God knows what's best in our lives, and what our purpose here is. Sometimes what God wants from us is simply to say "God I don't get it. God I may never understand why you've brought this upon me. God, this hurts, and I can't see the other side of the storm my life is in, but God I KNOW there is a reason. God I'm on my knees, and I can't see the solution to what's going on. God I'm going to praise You anyway. God I'm lifting my heart to you, and if this is what You ask of me, then God I'm going to accept it and know you'll carry me through."

One of the things I've learned this year is that it's true - God won't give you a cross to heavy to carry. At the same time, there are moments I wish He didn't have so much faith in me.

I've said this in so many places, to so many people lately. It's so easy to thank God when our lives are great. It's so great to tell others, "God has a plan" when it's their life that's hard. It's so easy to give thanks until God tries our hearts and our faith. Sometimes I think it's the moments when our lives are in ruin that God shows us the truth of our faith. Faith isn't praising God when times are good. Faith is praising God when times are not just bad, but miserable.

I've learned this year that yes, Kelley and I have had a really crappy year in some places. In other places the both of us our still standing. Kelley has a job, we still have a place to live, our friends are still there, we still have our car to get from point A to point B, we have yet to go hungry, we may have lost our son but we will get to see our Christopher again one day, we may have lost our first baby but God has given us another life and shown us there WAS a reason for losing our Christopher.

Life hasn't been easy this year for us, but for some the fire we've been walking on would feel like sweet cool grass after walking barefoot through hell.